Unshackle Yourself from ‘Shoulding’: Embrace the Power of Choice

💡 Imagine a world where guilt, shame, and pressure dissolve, replaced by empowerment and self-determination. Discover the transformative impact of switching from “shoulding” to “might choose to,” and watch as conversations, writings, and thoughts become more authentic and humane.

➡ “Shoulding” refers to the practice of imposing expectations, obligations, or judgments on oneself or others, often leading to feelings of guilt, shame, opposition, or resentment. This habit can negatively impact mental health, relationships, and communication.

If you would like to eliminate “shoulding” from your conversations, writings, and thoughts, consider using the phrase “might choose to” instead. This alternative promotes a sense of autonomy and flexibility, encouraging individuals to make decisions based on personal values and preferences rather than societal pressures or perceived obligations. By embracing this approach, we can foster healthier, more empowering communication styles and thought patterns.

Some Reasons Why You Might Choose To Pay Attention To My Works

Hey there! I’m Bob Marshall, the Organisational Psychotherapist, with a passion for helping organisations transform their culture and improve collaboration. If you’re wondering why you might choose to pay attention to my insights, just let me say that my unique approach can bring profound benefits to all kinds of organisations, especially those involving collaborative knowledge work.

My blog at is packed with insights and stories from my five decades of experience. I draw on this experience, including founding Europe’s first 100% Agile software house and heading Falling Blossoms, the world’s first Organisational Psychotherapy provider. My posts highlight the importance of nurturing productive relationships and fostering a people-oriented culture.

One post that stands out is about the Antimatter Principle, which emphasises attending to folks’ needs to create a thriving, collaborative work environment.

Another post discusses Flow•gnosis, an innovative approach to developing software-intensive products and services.

When you read my posts, you’ll also learn from my decades in both technology and business, including roles at Sun Microsystems, and many other organisations, large and small. This deep understanding of the tech landscape allows me to provide invaluable counsel and therapy to ambitious, progressive technology and digital business organisations.

Moreover, those who have worked with me have nothing but praise for my approach and the results it has brought to their organisations. Time and again, I’ve helped clients create a more humane, people-oriented, and productive work environment that has led to outstanding success.

As the author of “Hearts over Diamonds”, “Memeology”, and “Quintessence”, and the originator of Rightshifting and the Marshall Model, my posts regularly and freely share the foundational knowledge that has contribute to the success of so many of my clients. So, if you want to see a real difference in your organisation, don’t miss out on the wisdom and insights shared on my blog, books, white papers, etc.

Join me on this transformative journey towards elevating your organisation’s performance, and also creating a meaningful, fulfilling work environment that nurtures innovation, everyone’s personal growth, and long-lasting success. Get down with the opportunity to be part of a paradigm shift that’s redefining the way businesses thrive!


Don’t miss out on the latest insights and strategies for transforming your organisation and its culture! If you find this post valuable, make sure to follow me on LinkedIn, and don’t forget to ring the bell 🔔 to receive notifications whenever I share new content. Ready to unlock your organisation’s full potential? Take action now and reach out for a chat, or visit my blog more transformative ideas. Together, let’s embark on this journey towards unprecedented success! 🔔

Unveiling the Power of One: Unlocking Your Human Potential

💡 Imagine if one idea, one concern, or one reminder could revolutionise your life and propel you, your team, and your organisation towards unprecedented success. The power of one is waiting to be unveiled, and it all begins with a simple yet thought-provoking question. Are you ready to unlock your potential?

➡ Hey there! I have a thought-provoking question that I’d like to share with you, and I’m really curious to hear your thoughts on it. It’s a question that challenges us to think about our priorities, communication, and personal growth. Are you ready for it? Alright, here it is:

“If you could bring just one thing to the attention of your boss, what would that one thing be? And to your team? And to yourself?”

Think about it for a moment. It’s quite an interesting question, isn’t it? I find it fascinating because it invites us to reflect not only on what we’d like to express to others in our workplace, but also on what we need to remind ourselves of. In a way, it’s like having three separate conversations: one with your boss, one with your team, and one with yourself.

When you consider what you’d like to bring to your boss’s attention, it might be an idea, a concern, or some constructive feedback. It’s a valuable opportunity to express something that you believe is essential for the success and growth of your organisation.

As for your team, this could be an opportunity to highlight a shared goal or to emphasise the importance of collaboration and teamwork. It might also be a chance to encourage open communication and the sharing of ideas, fostering a supportive and creative environment.

And lastly, when it comes to yourself, this question prompts introspection. What is that one crucial thing you need to remind yourself of or acknowledge in your life’s journey? It could be a personal goal, a lesson learned, or a reminder of some sort.

So, take a moment to ponder this question, and let’s get a conversation going. I’m eager to hear your insights, and who knows? We might just learn something valuable about ourselves and each other in the process.

Social Media: A Garden of Thorns in a World in Need of Roses

As an ideas artist, philosopher and human being, I lament the state of social media and its impact on our society. Was it ever intended to encourage dialogue and conversation? This is a question that has been on my mind for a long time now, and I feel compelled to express my experiences on the matter.

Social media was originally intended to be a platform for people to share their thoughts and opinions, to connect with others and to create a virtual community. It was supposed to be a space where people could engage in meaningful conversation and exchange ideas. However, over the years, it has transformed into a breeding ground for hatred, division and negativity. The anonymity and distance that social media provides have led people to hide behind their screens and engage in vicious attacks on others.

Instead of fostering meaningful conversations, social media has become a place where people come to judge and criticise others. It has become a space where people can publicly shame and harass, and where the truth is often distorted. People are more concerned with getting likes, comments and shares than with fostering genuine connection and understanding.

Moreover, social media has become a tool for propaganda and manipulation. The algorithms that control what we see on our feeds are designed to keep us engaged, but they also limit our exposure to new ideas and perspectives. The result is that we are trapped in our own echo chambers, only exposed to information that confirms our own biases and beliefs.

This has led to a fragmentation of society, where people are more divided than ever before.

The negative impact of social media on our mental health and well-being is also undeniable. People are becoming more and more obsessed with their online persona, and are constantly comparing themselves to others. The constant exposure to negativity and hate has led to a decline in self-esteem and has increased levels of anxiety and depression.

In conclusion, social media was never intended to encourage dialogue and conversation, but rather to connect people and foster understanding. However, over the years, it has become a platform for negativity, propaganda, and manipulation. It has fragmented our society, and has had a devastating impact on our mental health and well-being. As a society, we need to reclaim social media and transform it into a space where people can engage in meaningful conversations, exchange ideas and foster genuine connection.

Productive Conversations: A Masterclass in Mutuality, Exploration, and Active Listening

For all those LinkedIn folks who seem incapable of having productive online conversations…

A productive conversation is one where both parties are actively engaged and working towards creating a common understanding or goal. It involves mutuality, where both parties are willing to share their thoughts and ideas, defer judgement, and actively listen to each other. A productive conversation is not just about one person dominating the conversation, but rather, it’s about exploring a topic together.

One of the key elements of a productive conversation is mutuality. Mutuality suggests a willingness to, cooperate, listen and share thoughts and ideas. It suggests that everyone have a chance to speak , contribute and be heard. It also suggests avoiding interruptions or talking over each other, as this can create tension and make it difficult to have a productive conversation.

Another important aspect of a productive conversation is exploring a topic together. This suggest that all parties stand willing to dig deeper into the topic at hand, rather than just contribute shallow observations or off-hand remarks. This can be achieved by asking open-ended questions, which allow for more in-depth discussion. Additionally, it’s important to avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Instead, take the time to truly understand each other’s perspective.

Listening with intent to understand rather than just reply is also crucial for a productive conversation. It’s easy to get caught up in thinking about what you’re going to say next, rather than truly listening to what the other person is saying. Active listening involves being fully present and paying attention to what the other people are saying. It also involves acknowledging and validating the other people’s thoughts and feelings. Empathy can help much, here.

Finally, active listening is an essential component of a productive conversation. This means that you are actively engaging with the conversation, rather than just passively listening. This can be achieved by making eye contact, nodding, and, especially, paraphrasing what the other person has said to show that you understand. It also involves being open to feedback and making adjustments to your own communication style, if necessary.

In conclusion, a productive conversation is one where both parties are actively engaged and working towards a common understanding or goal. It involves mutuality, where both parties are willing to share their thoughts and ideas, and actively listen to each other. Additionally, a productive conversation is about exploring a topic together and listening with intent to understand rather than just reply. Active listening is also crucial for a productive conversation. With these elements in mind, you can have a more meaningful and productive conversation.

%d bloggers like this: