First Steps With ChatGPT

Me: “Write, in the style of Christopher Hitchens, a scathing critique of Agile software development as a religious phenomenon.”

ChatGPT: “Agile software development is nothing more than a religious phenomenon, a cult-like devotion to a set of vague and arbitrary principles that are masqueraded as a rational approach to software development.”

“The so-called Agile manifesto is a hodgepodge of buzzwords and platitudes that has little connection to the realities of software development. It elevates nebulous concepts like “agility” and “adaptability” over the hard work of actually building software. It is a gospel of buzzwords, a collection of empty phrases that are repeated ad nauseam by its disciples without any real understanding of what they mean.”

“The Agile movement is dominated by a priesthood of gurus and experts who claim to have a monopoly on the truth. They demand unquestioning obedience to their edicts, and dismiss anyone who dares to question their authority. They demand that software developers become “agile” without ever defining what that means, and punish those who do not conform to their rigid and arbitrary rules.”

“The Agile movement is a religion of the status quo. It is a refuge for the lazy and the mediocre, who seek to avoid accountability for their lack of productivity by hiding behind the cloak of Agile principles. It is a crutch for those who are afraid to challenge their own assumptions and biases, and who seek to avoid the hard work of critical thinking and problem solving.”

“In short, Agile software development is a sham, a pseudoscientific fantasy that has no basis in reality. It is a religious movement that is more concerned with maintaining its own power and influence than with actually producing useful software. It is a fraud, a scam, and a waste of time and resources. It should be rejected and denounced by anyone who cares about software development.”

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