Those Bastards Need To Get A Grip
I see many, many people projecting their needs onto others. And most often with no awareness that they’re doing that. Or of the consequences.
Examples of Projecting Needs
Here are some examples which might help clarify what I’m talking about:
“My son needs to clear up his room.” No, he probably doesn’t need to do that, from his point of view. More likely the parent needs him to clean up his room. And maybe that’s because the parent has an (unmet) need to live in an orderly, clean house.
“Politicians need to stop lying.” No, they don’t. If they did need to do that, they would do that. More likely the speaker has an (unmet) need for politicians to be more open, transparent, honest, or whatever.
“Minorities need to stop whingeing and suck it up.” No, they don’t need to do that. From their perspective, they probably have a whole bunch of needs they feel are not getting met. And in this case, the speaker probably doesn’t need them to “to stop whingeing and suck it up”, either. More likely the statement is a proxy for some deeper need that the speaker is not even aware of. Maybe he or she needs some special consideration themself, and feels that others (said minorities) getting attention and special consideration is detracting from their own need.
Would you be willing to consider the possible consequences of framing your needs in terms of things you believe other people “should” be doing?
Speak Peace In A World Of Conflict ~ Marshall B. Rosenberg